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OSX Blues

SO I BOUGHT OS X 10.2 Jaguar, then took 24 hours off to install it, reckoning I might switch now if I could update all my applications. With that goal in mind, I’d bought new versions of just about every piece of software I own, hence the “24 hours.” Installing OS X takes just a few minutes and can be performed by a trained seal.

The smart and lovely part

Web text is heartbreakingly beautiful in browsers like IE5.2 or the Mozilla-based Chimera that have been updated to take advantage of Apple’s latest Quartz technology. Windows can’t touch it. *nix can’t touch it. Previous versions of the Mac OS can’t touch it.

In OS X 10.2 Jaguar, Happy Cog is a work of art. The upcoming Fox Searchlight Pictures site (in development on a secret server) looks better than most Flash sites. Even sites like Yahoo and Google look ravishing under Quartz. (OS X’s Quartz is more effective on sans-serif faces than on serifs like Georgia that were created specifically to look good when non-antialiased. In OS X 10.2, the default skin of zeldman.com is visually unappealing; Skin 3 works best.)

And the system is smart. As with previous versions I’ve installed on spare drives, OS X 10.2 automatically found my network settings, and within a few seconds I was online without having to manually enter TCP/IP settings or passwords or anything else.

On launch, OS X checked the Internet, discovered that Apple had released an updated version of Jaguar, and downloaded and installed the upgrade in the background while I fiddled with preferences and surfed the web. Smart. Lovely. Easy.

So why am I back in OS 9?

Preflight crunch one: the backup hiccup

It seemed wise to back up my existing hard drive before installing a new operating system. I’d bought the latest version of Retrospect for that purpose and installed it under OS 9 with no problems. But two minutes into the backup, the software froze, locking up my operating system and compelling me to force-quit and restart. I was never able to back up my hard drive.

I don’t believe Retrospect is at fault.

When I bought my dual processor G4 (Apple’s top of the line model at the time), the Lite version of Tech Tool Pro that came with my “extended Apple Care warranty” — and basically was my “extended Apple Care warranty” — always froze midway through a repair, thereby damaging instead of fixing my hard drive. My existing copy of Tech Tool Pro also always froze. So I’d bought the latest version of Tech Tool Pro, which also always froze midway through a repair.

As did my existing copy of Norton Disk Doctor.

As did the upgraded version of Norton Disk Doctor that I subsequently purchased in a tragicomic attempt to find one piece of diagnostic and repair software that could actually diagnose and repair my machine.

Disk Warrior is the only program that can actually repair this Mac. Everything else is a coaster.

Now it’s possible that Norton, Retrospect, and Tech Tool Pro are all defective in exactly the same way. But it ain’t likely. What’s more probable is that my dual processor G4, which with the Cinema Screen and other tricked-out extras cost slightly less than a Yugo, and which has always worked beautifully except when it needs repair, has a manufacturing defect that causes it to freeze during routine hard drive maintenance operations.

By the time I figured out that the machine and not the $500 worth of various software packages was at fault, my “extended Apple Care warranty” had probably expired and in any case I was too busy to even think about shipping the Mac back to Apple. And, truth be told, I was also too much in love with the tempermental machine in spite of its neuroses. Best damn computer I ever owned.

I decided to skip the backup and forge ahead.

I mention all the above because it’s possible that some or all of the OS X problems I’ll report later in this screen of tears are the fault of my computer and not of its new operating system. As Apple made both, it’s not like they’re off the hook either way.

Preflight crunch two: the firmware fandango

Before installing OS X, you’re warned to upgrade your firmware. I had already done that when upgrading my primary drive to OS 9.1. But was that the latest firmware version for my machine?

Apple’s warning includes a non-linked URL that’s unfortunately out of date. The OS came out last month; between now and then, Apple moved its URLs. Fortunately when you type the outdated URL into your browser’s address bar, you’re forwarded to the new page.

Unfortunately that new page is a generic one filled with links, none of them links to the firmware you’re supposed to download. So you have to use Apple’s Search function, which returns numerous pages, any one of which might be what you’re looking for, or might contain an outdated version that would make things worse. Search results are listed randomly rather than in a reverse chronological order that might actually help you find the all-important firmware upgrade.

Fortunately, though Apple doesn’t tell you this, the firmware is actually available in a deeply nested subfolder of the Developer Tools CD-ROM that comes with OS X 10.2. Why it’s there instead of on the installation disks, and why Apple tells you to hunt around on its website, no sentient being could guess.

The Developer Tools CD-ROM is meant to be viewed from within OS X, and of course I was still in OS 9. Eventually, by trial and error, I found the latest version of the firmware my dual processor G4 needs. By comparing that version with an installer on my hard drive, I was able to tell that the two versions were identical — in other words, I’d already updated my firmware to the latest version and the entire exercise had been unnecessary.

Preflight crunch three: Classic not included

Before installing OS X you’re also advised to be sure your system is running the latest version of OS 9, but Apple failed to include an OS 9 installation disk with the OS X package I bought so I was out of luck there.

Carrie’s Titantium Powerbook, which came with both OS X and OS 9 preinstalled, included one OS X 10.1.4 installation disk and one OS 9 installation disk. As OS X Jaguar comes on two disks, I reckoned that the latest version of OS 9 was included on one of those two disks and would be installed as part of the Classic environment necessary to run non-OS X programs. I reckoned wrong.

As noted above, I ran the installer with no problems. No version of OS 9 was installed.

Smooth fonts, rough edges

OS X installed like a dream, connected itself to the Internet, updated itself, and was ready for use.

Websites looked glorious as long as they didn’t use 11px Georgia for their primary typeface. I shrank the dock to a usable size and began downloading and installing necessary software like Tex-Edit Plus, Fetch, and DragThing.

The newest version of DragThing, released two days ago, has been optimized for Jaguar and includes many nifty new features, but what I needed it most for was what I’ve needed it most for since OS 8: keyboard shortcuts. F2 for Eudora. F3 for Fetch. Command-Option-A for the A List Apart folder. Command-Option-D for the Documents folder. That sort of thing. The sort of thing that makes it possible to get your work done faster. For that feature alone, DragThing is a necessary adjunct to any version of Mac OS.

Most sites I design and build are hosted on Unix but some are hosted on Windows NT. Windows NT does not like the Fetch FTP program. Directories housed on NT servers will vanish in Fetch, making you think the server has gone offline. It hasn’t; NT just doesn’t work right in Fetch. Hence my alternate FTP program, Transmit, which is prettier but less capable than Fetch, but which has the advantage of working correctly on NT servers.

I downloaded the latest version of Transmit, assuming it would be OS X compatible. It wasn’t.

OS X attempted to load the Classic Environment from my primary hard drive, but warned me it was about to do so and asked if I wanted to turn off Extensions first. Since I didn’t care to run two versions of DragThing (the OS 9 version and the OS X version), and didn’t wish to chance conflicts between, say, Quicktime 6 in OS X and Quicktime 5 Pro in OS 9, I instructed OS X to turn off Extensions before loading Classic.

It failed to do so. Instead it launched my souped-up, tricked-out OS 9.1 with all Extensions and add-ons blazing. That’s when OS X 10.2 Jaguar metamorphosed into a wild, bucking stallion.

The Epileptic Fever Dream

OS X is built on Unix and is supposed to be rock-solid. If a program misbehaves, you quit (or force-quit) that program with no fear of harm coming to your operating system, which cannot be modified and which remains behind a glass wall, impervious to circumstance. That’s what they tell you and that’s apparently how it works for most OS X users, but not me.

Classic was running but the Dock indicated it was not. There was no way to quit Classic. OS X’s menu bar disappeared. Then it began flashing on and off as if warning of nuclear disaster. OS X programs began quitting and disappearing from the Dock. Some disappeared without quitting.

I managed to locate the Finder’s force-quit dialog box, which indicated that I was running eleven copies of the Finder.

Make that twelve.

Make that thirteen.

As I gazed, my lips forming shapes a deaf lip-reader would have interpreted as spoken curses, the dialog box continued to add misbehaving Finders which could not be shut off (Screenshot).

I hit the G4’s Restart button. OS X disappeared, replaced after a moment by a Macromedia-like pale grey screen I found highly attractive. Eventually OS X sprang back to life. It sat on my screen, blinking at me with the imperturbability of a gecko on a sun-baked rock.

Hoping that the Developer Tools CD-ROM might help, I inserted that disk and double-clicked its icon in the Finder. The disk opened a blank window which immediately closed itself of its own volition. I repeated the experiment three times. Double click the icon. Empty window pops open. Empty window closes itself. I removed the disk and checked to be certain I’d inserted it correctly. I had. That was enough OS X pleasure for one day.

I located the Startup Disk control panel (or what used to be called a control panel), chose OS 9, and restarted in the familiar operating system that works.

It’s possible that OS X Jaguar will work for me if I install OS 9.2 and tell OS X’s Classic control panel to use that version instead of the one on my primary drive. Though Apple did not see fit to include the absolutely necessary OS 9.2 installer with Jaguar, I’m lucky in that my girlfriend has a copy. I’ll try that experiment next.

If it works, I’ll resume the migration to OS X, with its horse-dingus-sized icons, Unix advantages, and vaunted multi-tasking.

If it fails, I’ll save OS X Jaguar and the updated software I bought for it for the next Mac I buy.

» Update 24 September: OS X Blues II »

21 September 2002