10 Best Things About Coming Depression
- More family time.
- Candlelight is romantic.
- “Fed look” replaces “bling” as status conferrer.
- Millions empowered to leave dead-end jobs.
- Americans lower their carbon footprint.
- Sleeping under the stars.
- Homeopathic medicines gain new respect.
- Top musicians develop a more personal relationship with their listener.
- No more buggy software updates.
- Rivalry between Nick Denton and Jason Calacanis devolves to who owns bigger refrigerator box.
Filed under: glamorous
My favorite is number 4.
The best place to get started on that is picking up Seth Godin’s Tribes book.
He really makes you want to do something.
Solid list Zeldman!
Insightful. Love it :)
I love this list. Some of it is silly but some of it is very true in my life.
I’d like to add #11:
People are consuming less.
NIce list. I’m looking forward to #1 myself.
Dugg: http://digg.com/odd_stuff/10_Best_Things_About_Coming_Depression
My favorite is number 1, but hate number 7: Homeopathy is only water!!!
and….
Companies will have to deliver products and services that provide real value to customers using efficient and sustainable practices in order to stay in business.
or…thousands of people lose their jobs and resort to a lifestyle like the movie ‘fun with dick and jane’
Marvelous. Absolutely.
You, young man, have become an extraordinarily entertaining writer, particularly in the last year.
I love it!
Maybe the Laugh-Out-Loud Cats will make a comeback.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/apelad/sets/72157600296941365/
Xboxes and Wiis replaced with “actually playing outside”.
It was good until the in-joke (#10).
Wow, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I wonder if we’ll have more or less time for making lists in the coming depression?
I don’t whether to laugh or cry. Great list though.
Lots of people confuse “holistic” with “homeopathic” – I hope you’re one!
Love this one : “No more buggy software updates.”
Depression, not recession?
what did I miss this morning?
You forgot to mention the wonderful opportunity to go out and pick your sandwich-board.
P.S. I’ve heard ‘Brother, Can you spare me a dime?’ a couple times on radio. Does that mean, we’ll be hearing ‘Happy Days are Here Again’ come next year?
Thanks for being honest about what’s coming, and for having a sense of humor about it. Just because it’s turning into a depression doesn’t mean we have to get depressed. Enjoy the family time! But if it makes the rest of you feel better, we can keep calling it a recession :-)
Don’t forget all the designers selling Apples on the street to make ends meet.
It’s funny ’cause it’s true.
Excellent!
I like #10…. and my box is MUCH bigger. I’m just saying. :-)
You forgot to add boring your grandchildren with stories of the great ressesion.
“were you alive in 2008 grandad?”
“Oh yes, it was awefull. People had to start buying things they could actualy afford, and your grandmother and i had to stop waisting money on things we dont need! We only had one car!”
“One car! Oh no!”
Our friends arstechnica.com´s take on Homeopathy: http://arstechnica.com/articles/culture/the-pseudoscience-behind-homeopathy.ars/1
And exactely why would an economic downturn lead more people to turn to this bogus snake oil? I´m a little puzzled.
Adrian:
All right, I’ll kill one joke by explaining.
Americans are not insured as a birthright; health insurance for most Americans is a benefit of employment.
Lose your job and you also lose your insurance.
There are already millions of Americans who have no health insurance (can’t get it, can’t afford it) but if lots more people lose their jobs, there will be that many more who are uninsured.
Unable to see doctors, what will people do? Whatever they can, whether it works or not.
Hence the “joke concept” of #7: an indirect allusion to the crisis in health care and health care coverage—a crisis that will worsen as more people join the ranks of the jobless.
[...] Zeldman on the 10 Best Things About The Coming Depression. Also, Friday is the Second Annual Blue Beanie Day (um, we call ‘em tuques). So, if [...]
6. Sleeping under the stairs.
Chris Hester:
Awesome.
Not a good thing. Rip-off merchants and conmen deserve no respect.
Never mind – spotted your comment too late Jeffrey. I retract my minor rant :)
Perfect list…and I’d like to add one more…We can choose to become part of the solution and opt out of whining.
> Homeopathic medicines gain new respect.
Homeopathy is the liberal equivalent of Universal Design; i.e., you’re a complete tool if you actually take it seriously.
ali taylor, your comment about “boring your grandchildren with stories of the great ressesion [sic]” is excellent. I was thinking the very same thing. It will make us better people, more understanding, and more appreciative of the value of hard work. Another thing, maybe this will only be a Great Recession and not a Depression.
> People are consuming less.
That’s fine so long as they’re not the things your job is producing.
JZ: Truth be told healthcare costs are *killing* american businesses and their ability to compete on a global basis. This is why 1/3rd of the folks at google are contract employees. For some staffers with families a company might pay $1-1,500 a month in expense… in other words a full salary in another country!
We’re going to see a massive exodus of creative work from the USA over the next decade, and 99sitedesigns and other spec companies are the early indicator.
With the dollar getting stronger you can hire folks at a 30-70% discount in some developing countries… even with the wasted time communicating with folks outside the USA we’re looking at major issues for our workforce.
we HAVE TO have national healthcare if we’re going to compete in the world.
Jason: Agreed. And for moral and humanitarian reasons, too.
Not sure how a depression gives you more family time. Seems like you’d have to spend more time to hustle to make money… where, when times are good, you can afford to take time off for family.
This reminds me of a UCLA class on “The Films of Keanu Reeves.”
People, this is not James Joyce. These are jokes. Don’t make me explain ‘em.
Evidently there are a lot of people that don’t recognize your style of humor. I thought the list was fabulous, and additional explanation is unnecessary.
I’m actually looking forward to the reality check, in a sense.
[...] 10 best things about coming depression, a more humorous take on things, from Jeffrey Zeldman. [...]
The plug for homeopathy is the most distasteful thing I have ever seen in this otherwise pleasant patch of cyberspace. Homeopathy deserves no respect. And, fortunately, I cannot see how it will get much from hard economic hard times … unless perhaps due to an increase in wishful thinking?
Ohhh. Should have read more carefully. JZ wrote:
Right, okay. I get it. I retract, I retract.
Forget about homeopathy. I agree with the George Carlin method of staying healthy.
1) The more garbage and shit you eat the stronger your immune system becomes.
2) The stronger your immune system the less medicine you need.
3) The less medicine you need the richer we all become because we’ll no longer be a financial burden on ourselves.
Think about it, there’ll be no need for a health care system. We’ll all be healthier than horses. It’s a win win situation!
Oh ya, don’t forget dumpster diving. It’s a rush I hear when you land a complete half chicken or a bag of only half rotten bananas! And… AND poor people will feel more comfortable with their situation because there will be more of them… ‘errr I mean us. We’ll be one big happy fucking family!
Good list Jeffrey!!!!!!
Great list. and so true, we have to laugh so that we don’t cry. around here, large cardboard boxes made great gifts for the kids. and sox replaced lost mittens.
My number 11:
Slashed advertising budgets will lower the number of slow-loading webpages.
Wonderful list! #4 is so true. Thank you and Happy Holidays!
Wait, you mean all this time I’ve taken “The Films of Keanu Reeves” seriously?! OMG, now I know I’m going to rot in the lower pits of shucks, heck, er I mean hell…
Great list, long-time listener, first-time caller, so to speak. Glad to be back designing web sites that matter and actually I’ve just recently quit my
“job” of three plus years and am back to freelancing and actually making a better overall living, including quality of life.
Keep up the good work every1 and please remember that as the saying goes, don’t take life too seriously, as we just don’t get out alive.
Wow… I guess there really is a silver lining to everything. Forget the increased crime, widespread hunger, and the breakdown of society; a coming depression will give us more romantic time with that significant other.
Great article. :-)
# 1 best thing about the coming depression:
>>> this article!!
I suppose we need to add this somewhere:
- Not signing up for AT&T’s iphone plan and going back to a $29.99/month, no text, no email, no fancy phone plan but enough minutes to live with.
[...] 10 best things about coming depression, a more humorous take on things, from Jeffrey Zeldman. [...]
haha.
I’m not 100% sure this is supposed to be funny, but I thought it was anyway.
That was wicked! Especially for #1, 2, 6 and 9 :)
[...] 10 best things about coming depression, a more humorous take on things, from Jeffrey Zeldman. [...]
I’m looking forward to seeing more innovation. People and communities are going to have to find new ways to do things, especially on a larger scale. Exciting times.
I feel like this is the time that will separate the men from the boys…
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