Kids say the darnedest things. Say the darnedest things. Say the darnedest things.

“Daddy, let’s play dinosaur. You can be the daddy dinosaur, mommy can be the mommy dinosaur, I can be the baby dinosaur, and doggy can be the doggy dinosaur.”


“Daddy, let’s play leprechaun. You can be the daddy leprechaun, mommy can be the mommy leprechaun, I can be the baby leprechaun, and doggy can be the doggy leprechaun.”


“Daddy, let’s play vampire. You can be the daddy vampire, mommy can be the mommy vampire, I can be the baby vampire, and doggy can be the doggy vampire.”


Parenting a four-year-old is like living with Rain Man.


17 thoughts on “Kids say the darnedest things. Say the darnedest things. Say the darnedest things.

  1. Wait until she realises that *everything* you ask or say can be answered with “Why?”. Unless that’s just a boy thing.

  2. Common type of conversation with my four-year-old:

    “Daddy, are these mashed potatoes?”
    “Mommy, are these mashed potatoes?”
    “Daddy, are these mashed potatoes?”
    “Oh! Hey Mommy! These are mashed potatoes!”

  3. It’s even worse when they talk like you. There’s nothing worse than a boomerang coming back at you from a 3,5 year old. When we pointed out that there was more sugar on the plate than there was pancake, she put her spoon down and said: “listen mummy. I know you want to do this your way. But now we’ll do it my way, and THEN we can do it your way. OK?”

    We were also not allowed to resume eating before we agreed to do it her way.

  4. So true, so true! We have a six year old that’s not much better and another turning 4 next month, so I feel for you. It’s absolutely amazing how many times we find ourselves answering the exact same question over and over – sometimes asked differently but most often not.

    Great post!

  5. In the UK, we have a great sitcom on the BBC called Outnumbered, which takes the idea of kids being faster thinkers than their parents and runs with it. The three children in the show get the opportunity to improvise lines, which can result in some beautiful and embarrassing moments that all parents will recognise and cringe at. It should find its way onto BBC America soon, but Fox has also announced plans to make a US version.

  6. @David B: Ooh, maybe Fox will screw it up worse than NBC screwed up “Coupling”. Also hear that we’re getting a U.S. version of “Top Gear”… cringe. Like the BBC America ads say: “BBC – The Birthplace of American Television” (and disturbing documentaries – anyone see “Britain’s Worst Teeth”?).

    As for four-year-olds, my almost-four-year-old has learned his numbers and has figured out that a car’s weight is the first number in its license plate. So my CR-V weighs 9 pounds, according to him. Also, he’s decided when he’s bigger than his little brother (who is 7 days old), he’ll get to ride in the passenger seat.

  7. Our youngest, 4 1/2, has decided to rename herself. So every person she meets is told her new long-and-unpronouncable-by-mere-mortals name. Best results occur when her parents are also meeting these people for the first time, so they can look at us with that “Why did you do that to your child?” look.

  8. Good to know that that’s what I have to look forward to. My 2 year old cooper is no Rain Man, he is full on Parrot.

    “Coops, want to go have breakfast?”
    “Pooker, have breakfast?”

    “Cooper, don’t throw that”!
    “No throw that!”

    “Cooper don’t hit Daddy”
    “Hit Daddy!”

    And so on…

  9. I always like it when our daughter starts swearing as if she had tourettes after she hears one of her parents let out an expletive or two; it’s almost as much fun as trying to tell her she’s saying something else. I can’t wait for her to start shouting “shirt!” and “fork!” on the playground.

  10. @Greg: NBC’s version of “Coupling” was so bad I didn’t even make it half way through the first episode on YouTube… went looking for “slinky cat” instead. Don’t worry about “Top Gear” though… no export country has managed to screw that one up yet. It’s too simple a show to get wrong. You just need to get someone as ironic and funny as Jeremy Clarkson to present it (Robin Williams maybe?). As for “Britain’s Worst Teeth”, I haven’t seen that one yet. Might be just for the American market only. Pity… sounds like fun!

    Coincidently, and American friend sent me this yesterday:

    On the first day of school, a first-grader handed her teacher a note from her mother. The note read, ‘The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.’

    At then end of the first week, she says to her mother, ‘I’m just wasting my time… I can’t read, I can’t write, and they won’t let me talk!’

  11. hahaha…love to see how somethings are just universal as a parent…

    my 5 yr old daughter loves to do make-believe mashups… for example
    “ok…I’ll be Spiderman, and you be Darth Vader!”
    “ok..I’ll be a ‘my little pony’ named Alice, and you be Robin Hood!

    and my favourite lately…
    “ok…I’ll be ‘Tegan and Sara’ cuz they’re both twins, and you be Gandalf!

    (obviously my little girl has picked up on my fav movies and music hahaha…)

  12. Mom: How old are you Timmy?

    Timmy: {Holds up 4 fingers} “Free!”.

    Mom: How old will you be in one year?

    Timmy: A duck!

  13. Ha! ha! ha! ha!……………………………………………………………………………………..ha!

    Wait till they are teenagers!

    I have 3 kids – 11, 8 and 7 – so I know it all!

    Thanks for making me feel part of a group. :)

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