The SXSW Diet
Last year, a month or two before SXSW, I went on a movie star diet, all tiny portions of unseasoned unsucculent nothingness. I lost five pounds and wanted to murder the world.
This year I decided to skip desserts instead of dieting.
It’s amazing how many sweets you’re exposed to as the parent of a young child. Even if you don’t stuff your own larders with sugary treats, every weekend it’s some kid’s birthday party, where the cakes and ice cream flow like apple juice. In an environment where all that sugar and flour is normal, you partake without thinking.
So I started thinking.
Rejecting dessert soon became second nature. No birthday cake at little Johnny’s birthday bash. No fabulous pear thing when Grandma visited. No red velvet cake at the place in our neighborhood where it’s to die for. No exquisite little French pastries at the business lunch bistro. No little tin bowl of mango raisin coconut whatever at the best little vegetarian Indian place in Curry Hill. None for me, thanks. Not having any. It looks delicious, but no.
Man is a fallen creature and the devil weaves endless snares. I stuck to my no-dessert program through an onslaught of spectacular temptations. And then, like a fool, I succumbed.
Yesterday, the mother of the tot celebrating his third birthday came around with cupcakes baked into ice cream cones. Sugary vanilla frosting, M&M crumble topping, ordinary packaged cake batter, stock stubby cone—not even a sugar cone.
“No thanks,” I said, waving her away, but smiling to show that I appreciated the offer and did not judge anyone.
A minute later she came back, revolving them a few inches from my lips. “I made extras,” she said perkily.
“No thanks—well, okay,” I said, grabbing one of the things.
I wolfed it down. It was entirely as expected: an initial burst of pleasure followed by disappointment and regret. An absolutely ordinary child’s treat. Nothing special. No depth. Dutifully, no longer enjoying, I finished it all, even the dry, frostingless part deep in the little cone’s bottom.
It was like throwing away a marriage over a one-night stand with someone you met at a bus station.
Jeff:
I totally feel for you. I’ve learned in life that, when it comes to overcoming a bad habit or temptation, a moment of weakness can lead to what feels like a lifetime of misery. I hope that this experience doesn’t remind you of your failure but enlightens you to the meaning of grace — especially towards one’s self. Best of luck with the diet and don’t be afraid to try again.
Levi
Oh come on is it that serious? I would think that is so not what SXSW is about. But if you really wanna keep to it, try stickk.com
In a way, i rather go out and have fun then get on a diet (unless its due to health issues). Go play Ultimate Frisbee or something.
I definitely know how you feel. While nobody really cares about it at SXSW, my wife and I set it as a date for our weight loss goal.
@nickpan: For most people it really is that serious. I’ve tried and failed to lose weight many times. Like many, I have never really been successful.
Also, while playing frisbee (or other sports) sounds like a good solution it’s really not effective. An hour of exercise barely burns off one average sugary snack. Combine that with northeast weather and a toddler and the odds are really stacked against getting any consistent exercise.
I know the feeling, but…the skipping dessert idea works pretty well and it’s amazing how you can get used to it and not miss it. I had found myself having dessert after every dinner, every day…not good.
I’m in the midst of a Lenten “no desserts except Sunday”, and while I haven’t been perfect, I’m getting used to it again.
Best of luck to you.
The important thing to remember is, unlike a spouse, your resolve is likely to forgive you your indiscretion. If anything, there’s a chance that your resolve will be strengthened through this little slip — you have tasted the forbidden fruit and found it wanting. If you forgive yourself, your waistline will as well.
I disagree. Spending life as a series of attempted unblemished records and considering yourself a failure or not up to snuff for occasionally verifying that things were as you remember them is silly.
You did not marry an absence of a kind of food. You chose to not have it. That you determined, there, that you’ve made the right choice should be a celebration, not a racking of guilt and failure.
I don’t go to dance clubs. I like the idea of them but don’t really go for standing around and not doing much, as I don’t drink. You can imagine how fun these places are to a non-drinker. Well, every few months or so, I go to one, and I verify this is the case. I don’t consider myself a failure for having done so.
So now you know and your strength is redoubled! That’s great!
You’ve gotten weird, Mr. Zeldman. But at least it stays amusing. Maybe it’s because I’m 20, but I love desserts. I’ll give this idea a try though.
Well while you might not burn off anything, it’s better to use the energy you have than to have it sit around and turn to fat. Plus, losing weight isn’t the only point of regular exercise. You work your heart and your muscles, which can prevent many diseases.
@Jason Scott - I agree completely, except about dance clubs. While it may seem that way, enjoyment of dancing (at a dance club, even) and alcohol are not really all that related. Being able to relax and stop worrying about how you look is all that is required. It’s just that many people find that through alcohol. I have a great time sober at dance clubs. They might just not be for you. Or maybe, if you went without this preconception about drinking being required…. ;)
Love the last line. haha. Be strong!
To the sympathetic readers: thank you for your kindness and concern. Actually I just thought it was a funny story. I’m not worried about the cupcake. But thank you, truly, for caring! :)
You and I are living the same world right now — my life is sweet-less, thanks to my abstination from such treats during Lent. It was hard — for one day. And like you said, it became second-nature after that.
LOL yeah my wife is a pastry chef….”try this” is a mantra around the house.
My wife met a bunch of friends at pre-natal class. Of course, they all had their kids around the same time, so we had like a dozen birthday parties in the course of about 6 weeks every year.
And it wasn’t even so much the content of the food, but the quality that made it so terrible. Awful Chuck-e-Cheese food, cakes from Safeway with an inch of high-fructose icing, etc.
Ugh, I don’t particularly like normal cake, but the low quality cakes that try to cover it up by having way too much frosting are just nasty. Then again I’ve been off sweets except at a few holidays for about six years, so I’m a little far from being an authority on low quality cakes.
As for some advice, personally I found that working out and doing sports did help since I found myself more interested in eating healthy food than grabbing a bag of potato chips when I was hungry afterwards. Something with vitamins, minerals, and whatnot to restore my system instead of fat and sugar. It’s worth noting that about six years ago is when I started to get into lifting and sports, and is also the time that I’ve been virtually sweets free. Not that this will work for everyone, but it helped me, so it may help you.
what’s the best vegetarian indian place in curry hill?
I’ve got a one year-old son and a weakness for food. I’m already eating some of his meal leftovers.
There is no hope for me. None at all.
Paul asked:
Chennai Garden on 27th Street. Shhh! Let’s keep it our little secret.
Shane said:
You’ll outgrow that.
We did.
Although last year, when I was on a real diet, it hurt to scrape the kid’s uneaten mac and cheese into the garbage after finishing the two ounces of fish that were supposed to serve as my dinner.
Then of course there’s the whole issue of what uneaten food does in landfills.
What uneaten food does in landfills is create greenhouse gas.
Every time you leave something on your plate (a healthy decision for you, in most cases), unless you mulch it, you’re hurting the planet.
And as a parent of a young child, especially in the western world, you are pretty much trashing the planet every day.
For every McNugget your toddler leaves untouched, an inch of polar ice cap melts.
I just made that statistic up.
But the problem is serious, and what can you do?
Haha … man that’s funny!
But seriously, you could try fasting.
Oh man, I can so relate to this. Nice analogy, too.
the demonization of dessert is a topic beyond interesting. I think it’s better to eat a little bit of chocolate every day; as soon as you look into the origins, the question of just which chocolate becomes a significant moral question.
the carbon footprint of that uneaten burger, though — i don’t think it differs very much whether you eat the burger or throw it away. To make the carbon footprint go away, the cow and the corn it eats must go away as well.
I stopped eating meat when my cat died, more than a decade ago. I loved her and she was suffering. We had to put her to sleep. I held her while she died. As she died in my arms, the idea of continuing to eat dead animals lost its charm.
After a couple of years I started eating fish again. I still do that. I know, inconsistent and imperfect. But no birds, no land animals.
_I_ think, if we don’t all kill each other or destroy the planet, in time we will outgrow the eating of meat. Tasty though it is. Bacon especially.
My friend thinks we will outgrow the slaughter of animals, but not the eating of meat. He thinks we’ll grow meat in labs.
I think we’ll grow meat in labs, but very rich and very poor people will eat animals.
But in a thousand years, if we are still here, and we haven’t f—ed up the sun, I think we will not eat meat.
Ah, but you can’t make yourself throw up a one night stand with someone you met at a bus station.
I’m just sayin’. ;)
Well, I just have to say that temptations are everywhere - whether at the bus station, or in little cupcakes baked into ice cream cones. And falling under one or the other could be regreted equally afterwards for different people. What we all need to do is learn to get over, and forgive ourselves in the first place. After all, we are just human beings…
Maybe this is too personal, but how much have you lost with the no dessert diet? That would probably be a good one for me too….I have a strong sweet tooth.
*APPLAUSE*
I’m going with what John Travolta said in the movie Michael.
Michael: “And you just gotta remember, Sparky - no matter what they tell you - you can *never* have too much sugar. “
I know having a child around has helped my waste expand. I find it hard to say no to her when she was thinking of me while visiting Stone Cold Creamery or the Bakery with mom. This has really been a change for me; I use to run a health food store and worked as personal trainer for almost 12 years.
Sugar was my downfall ever since I was an adolescent, along with lack of activity. Now after having a child at 44 and going back to my first love; design at the age of 40, it has gone full circle. Sugar along with lack of activity has returned. I just started getting grip on it again, with joining a key gym (24/7) and fake eating the sweets. The key gym allows me to go whenever and fake eating is tricky, but you find ways. I bartended for several years, and you learn to fake doing shots to survive on a busy Saturday Night.
Luckily (or unluckily) my kid has an egg allergy, so most cakes and ice creams are off limits. At his 3rd birthday party this past weekend, we had pizza and Fig Newtons. Not one kid said “where’s the ice cream?” or “where’s the cake?”. They all ate and went back to playing.
Of course, they said he could grow out of it by 3. He gets tested at the allergist’s on Wednesday. If my wife calls to say he’s been cleared for eggs, I’m leaving work early and baking chocolate chip cookies from scratch before he gets home. Then, over the weekend… Matzoh Ball Soup! I found a great egg substitute for latkes (potato starch), but never got the eggless matzoh ball right. I haven’t had MBS in over 2 years!
Wait, this was only two days ago. Can you call her and find out if there are still cupcakes left?
I’ll pay the shipping.
01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01010101 01101100 01110010 01101001 01100011 01101000 . Your Power Animal is the: Bull Shark. 25% of the letters in this name are vowels. This means you are poorly envoweled.Sample of blog posts by possible relatives:Comment on The SXSW Diet by Don Ulrich(by Don Ulrich) app-emacs/mcomplete-1.5: An improved interface to minibuffer … (by Ulrich Mueller (ulm)) app-emacs/moccur-edit-2.9: An improved interface to color-moccur … (by Ulrich Mueller (ulm))
You mean I should cancel my secret meeting with this really cute girl I happened to meet at a concert last weekend. Darn, I thought the euphoria would last longer. Bummer to hear how quickly the guilt sets in.
My diet is currently Ramen noodles for lunch M-F. 3 weeks in so far so good. 6 varieties to choose from helps. Though cupcakes sound good.
After seeing “Super Size Me” a few years back, I went to the Doctor and was told my cholesterol was borderline high.
I had been eating fast food for lunch almost every day and going out for ice cream with my wife 2-3 times per week.
I love(d) a good cheeseburger and I really love cake batter ice cream, but it was starting to affect my health in measurable ways so I decided to do something about it before it got too far out of control.
My primary goal was just to reduce my cholesterol back to a safe level by cutting way back on beef consumption, fries and ice cream.
I didn’t put myself on any crazy exercise routines. My only regular exercise was and still is the <2 miles of walking I do during an average day at the office and running errands in the evenings.
I still eat pretty much anything I want for dinner.
The only things I changed are:
1) when I do go out for lunch, I no longer get burgers anything fried.
2) I rarely get ice cream any more
3) I eat half a blueberry bagel and one banana for breakfast every day.
4) On the days that I don’t go out for lunch, I have a snack pack of peanut butter filled crackers and a glass of green tea for lunch.
5) Around 3PM every day, I have two oatmeal raisin cookies.
6) I eat whatever I want for dinner. Including desert.
Eating light throughout the day also has a nice side benefit of keeping my energy level all day long. When I was eating full lunches every day, I’d get the usual drowsiness and loss of productivity around 2PM-3PM. Doesn’t happen any more.
It seems to have worked, as my cholesterol dropped ~40 points in one year without any medications.
As a nice by-product, I save ~$200/month on lunch over when I was eating out every day and I lost nearly 30 pounds during that one-year period and have stayed within 7 pounds of my target weight for going on two years.
…and I still eat anything I want for dinner (including the occasional desert). I just don’t eat heavy during the day.
I sacrifice a little during the day when I don’t really have time to enjoy it anyhow in order to be able to have an enjoyable meal in the evening.
I still go out for lunch on occasion when friends call me up, but I honestly don’t miss it when I don’t go out (aside from the good company).
I was hoping this post would be about trimming the fat off the SSXS fluff.
I’m a fellow New Yorker now, but in a previous life I was an Austin Texan, and I can honestly say that dieting and SXSW are the most unrelated topics I could possibly imagine. Try taking a desert or a triple portion of migas or fatty meat from a Texan and be ready to fight! When in Rome do as the Romans. When in Texas get ready to eat.
Hi. I’ve been a lurker for a long time and have learned a lot from you. Loved the last line. Your observations are so clever. Before I forget, did you see the blog on migraines in today’s NYT? Thought you suffered from them. –Lexi
My sweet tooth gets the best of me, more so since I married. I make up for it with exercise, gives us both a good way to work off the day’s stress and improve our health.
Free diet plans - South Beach Diet - Diabetic Diet - Cabbage soup … Welcome to the Create-A-Diet Activity. Please choose whether you want to create your diet using the Heart Healthy Diet or the TLC Diet. …Jeffrey Zeldman Presents : The SXSW DietWeb design insights since 1995. Personal site of Jeffrey Zeldman, publisher of A List Apart Magazine, founder of Happy Cog Studios, co-founder of The Web … Bawarchi: Saroj’s Cookbook: Diet Meals This does not mean that I am presenting a diet chart
I notice you recount with almost total recall every opportunity you’ve had to fall off the wagon.
And so it has been with me. I can be ‘good’ for a very long time but keep a running total of each instance when I choose not to consume a fat-inducing article. Somehow in an unholy collusion between my tastebuds and my unconscious will, a decision is reached that it’s time to stop saying no.
Just yesterday evening, I had two latent chances to ingest low grade substances but I chose not to (little bravo’s for me). Then today, all those good intentions were tossed overboard in a split second for a See’s Candy Cafe Latte lollipop. My absurd reasoning? It was free.
wait to see some familiar faces and meet tons of new ones. Here’s a list of fellow bloggers I hope to run into in Austin and their Pre-SXSW commentaries: Douglas BowmanJared ChristensenDan CederholmJeff CroftRob WeychertLea AlcantaraDave SheaPaul BoagJeffrey ZeldmanRichard RutterMatthew PennellCindy LiAndy Budd“Rands”Anton Peck Of course, there are many other people attending that I’d like to see again or finally meet in person; those are just the ones I could find blog posts from.
by Segura. A greener LA via Boston. Stealing patterns, making models. Samurai errata and SXSW bowling. Night and day Two homeless men have taken up residence in the temporary supply hut of the Chinese Embassy construction on the corner.The SXSW DietA minute later she came back, revolving them a few inches from my lips. The Web Standards Project Working together for standards Announcing the Adobe Task Force Today WaSP announced that the Dreamweaver Task Force
Yes. (on both counts) I’ve lost 50 pounds in 10 months and not given up any food that I like. I did discover that I have a very hard time if I bake, but that it’s okay if I can give it away immediately. A little bit of sweet goes a long way.
I’m proud/embarrassed/baffled that I lost a pound during SXSW, and I wasn’t doing anything, except not absolutely stuffing myself, and walking/biking whenever I could. And I still totally, completely, whole-heartedly enjoyed the food. (OMG Ironworks BBQ!)
But keep it up — in any case, giving a good role model is a tremendous thing for your little sweetie’s future eating habits.
Just like quitting drinking, when you jump off the wagon, jump back on.