First day of preschool
It’s our daughter’s first day of preschool. I’m excited and nervous, as if I were the one beginning an education. And in a way, I am. For, even more than the first time we let someone else hold her, even more than the first time we let someone else watch her, her first day of school is the true beginning of our sending her out into the world and away from us.
Nothing says Buddhism like raising a child. To cherish what has already changed as you look upon it. To hold most tightly what you must most let go.
Tags: parenting, preschool, school, education, love
Filed under: family, glamorous
Eek!
Our boy starts big school in February, and I think we’re freaking out about it more than him.
Nothing more nerve-wracking then sending your children off into the care of other people. However, there is nothing more enjoyable than listenting to your children excitedly tell you how they played cars with that girl and painted picures with this boy and got to P-L-A-Y!
For years I’ve been reading your writings as a web developer who finds your work an inspiration.
Since the arrival of my daughter 2 1/2 years ago, I find myself now inspired more by your posts about your own daughter than your work.
How children change our world, huh.
I can’t imagine anything tougher than letting go of the center of the universe. I have a couple years before I reach this event but I’m already anxious about it. I’m sure the first day will be the worst. Chin up.
I was definitely excited that she was going to be getting something that my wife and I just can’t provide for her….a way to interact with lots of other kids. Can’t say that I was nervous but I know my wife was.
The kid handled it all in stride though ;)
Between us, Best Beloved and I have seven. The Little One won’t even be 4 until next spring, so we’ve still got time. The oldest just turned 26.
It doesn’t get any easier to let them go, whether it’s to school, to drive, egads – sharing a pint with my *kid* !?!?, moving out; every one is different, and it doesn’t get easier, with each child or with each phase.
Doesn’t get less fascinating and exciting, either, though.
I don’t have any children of my own, but I have a nephew that fascinates me as if he were. He’s only in first grade at the moment, but what is really cute is how much he LOVES school. Of course, he doesn’t have any homework yet. That’ll change everything. :-)
It’s tough to send any child out into the wide and wonderful world. Lots of good stuff out there, and not so good stuff.
I feel that I need to point out the benefits of homeschooling. Your children get almost one-on-one tutoring. You don’t have to worry about whether little Johnnie is bullying them at recess, and yet there are still opportunities for socialization (the main obstacle to homeschooling that everyone mentions).
So if things don’t work out, you might want to consider homeschooling. We did if for four years with our three children and they all loved it. We just gave it up this September with some stress all round, but we’re adjusting.
That seems like ages ago. What you said was true for me
along time ago, or was it yesterday? Your daughter will adjust better than you will. Have fun with it.
I appreciate how much you care about your daughter. I’m a 24-year old web dev with a 3 year old, so it’s refreshing to hear about the ‘real lives’ of others in the field . . . particularly when I can relate.
That said, I second Bernard’s suggestion of considering homeschooling. Your family income may get cut in half (or worse), but you won’t have to let go just because the government has decided that it’s time for them to have the majority say in what your child thinks, how your child behaves, and who should be your child’s friends.
For people who will rail against homeschooling because they say it doesn’t help them get used to the real world (society), I pose the question: since when is school anything like the real world? Remember trying to be cool?
There will be plenty of time for my daughter to separate from us later. Four years old just isn’t the time.
I’m going to take a different approach here:
Congratulations on the first day of your daughter’s natural born life! I hope she adjusts well and embraces the challenges and opportunities as they are presented to her during the rest of her life. My two teenagers and my nine year-old constantly leave me with the same emotional roller coaster.
This is a great personal milestone and I’m quite happy that you (and others by posting) shared the occasion. I can only say that my experience with homeschooling leaves me biased in the negative (not that you were actually so nervous that you decided to consider homeschooling based on a blog post, nor should you). Maybe it was due to the horrible cafeteria they called “kitchen”.
Best wishes and continued success.
I was reading Dinfilter and ran across this link from
Poets.org about back to school poems.
This one is from Shel Silverstein Do You have a copy of Where Sidewalk Ends yet?
The hardest part of pre-school was believing the teachers when they insisted my little ones were anything but the screaming, hysterical, begging for life to hang onto mommy creatures I tore myself from every morning.
I’ll get back at my eldest next year, when she enters college. She’s the strong, determined, independent one now :)
My daughter just began her senior year of high school. A the end of her tunnel there is light. It’s seem from my wife and I’s tunnel as well. These are good times, Jeff — mine and yours :-)
On my first day of pre-school (back in the early 70s), the preschool had a side room where they had the mothers go and wait after dropping the kids off. They’d watch the children, and when it appeared that a kid was adjusting well and wasn’t going to need mommy to come rushing in, they’d come in and tell his/her mother she could leave.
To this day, my mother still hasn’t forgiven me for being the first mother who was told she could leave.
awwww – what a nice, but bittersweet post. Thanks Zeldman for sharing.
It’s always hard to let go. I’m with spinhead up there. My oldest baby is about to be 19. Watching him try to become an adult is much like letting him go that first day to school. If I’ve done my job right, he’ll be on his way soon. I’m partially glad to see him getting older and partially wanting to make him a baby again, just for a few minutes.
Ha, ha, ha! Great story.
We waited in the library. We were the only parents to do so. To relieve the anxiety, we took photos (in the photos, we look like we are waiting for the oncologist), talked, and tweeted.
A– loved her first school day. We practically had to drag her out of the classroom. Yay!
Allow me to second the pro-homeschooling options, particularly when the parents in question are unquestionably brilliant people. We had each of our three children at times in two different public schools, a private school, and homeschooled. With homeschooling’s one-on-one tutelage, we found that we could accomplish far more in a day than public school could teach in a week. And we could ensure that our values and perspectives were well-represented, rather than the government-pap-of-the-day or teachers-union-propaganda-of-the-day. Our kids loved it.
Of course, the Zeldmans have carefully considered all options and chosen the path that makes the most sense to them. But if you change your mind, you can always homeschool next year… or next month… :)
Daughter’s alright. You survived. It was a good day.
Welcome to the club ; )
My best wishes for your daughter
peace
-mE
wish all your children good luck :)
My daughter is 10, she has her first boyfriend (all very sweet and innocent but still…), she wants to be able to go to the cinema with her friends, walk to school on her own. It’s scary.
My biggest ‘letting go’ story is to do with her acting. She was lucky enough to be in Les Mis aged 8, and when you have a child in a show like that you hand them over to chaperones at the stage door. No parents allowed in. She had a job to do, and the details I got were those that she felt like telling me. The first night I was watching from high up in the cheap seats (no free tickets for theatre mums either) and in her final scene the actor playing Jean Valjean swings Little Cosette round really high – she looked so tiny and fragile and vulnerable and I was so scared he’d drop her! I just wanted to race down and grab her. Of course she was happy and quite safe, and had a wonderful 5 months in the show, and I had to learn to trust her so she was free to do that. It isn’t easy.
Jeffrey-
Glad to hear the first day of school was a success!
To Matt who was railing against government control of our children in school: please take off the tinfoil. The biggest issue facing schools and students is deadbeat parents who don’t give a damn about their kids and their education.
“For people who will rail against homeschooling because they say it doesn’t help them get used to the real world (society), I pose the question: since when is school anything like the real world? Remember trying to be cool?”
Huh? The real world is full of all the same crap and people dealing with it exactly the same way (or worse). Where are you living where that isn’t the case? Just today I was crossing the street, with the walk signal, and almost got run over by a guy deciding he had the right-of-way in his car. And to top it off he flipped me off. And you say school isn’t anything like the real world? Certainly is in my “real” world”.
Advertising relies on people wanting to be like others, be cool, be in the “in crowd”, etc. Sounds just like school to me.
it’s amazing how connected you feel to another person who’s also a parent, especially when your kids are the same age. This is my first comment on this blog that I’ve visited many times before, and it’s a comment to a post about a child’s first day at preschool.
We’ve been also raising our daughter at home all these 2 and half years, and two weeks ago she too went to a pre-school and stayed without us for three long (for us) hours. She didn’t want to leave either.
if i remember correctly, friday will be rather special as well. pass on my congrats to the whole family, but especially the little lady.
The first day of preschool is certainly a nerve wracking experience for any parent. You’ve got to trust other people with your child now – that’s not an easy thing to do by a long shot. I think they ought to congratulate parents or something after the first term for their courage. It may also help if the first day the parents are there (I’ve heard of a lot of preschools which do this) but I’m not sure how good it is for the child.
My biggest ‘letting go’ story is to do with her acting. She was lucky enough to be in Les Mis aged 8, and when you have a child in a show like that you hand them over to chaperones at the stage door.